Are you looking at your calendar for the summer and starting to feel like it’s already over before it has even begun?
Are you pumped to support your friends as they tie the knot, but are also having this sinking feeling that you’re losing your ability to make your own plans?
Are you starting to feel guilty for even having these thoughts because you don’t want to be seen as a bad friend?
It’s okay, babe! You’re not a bad friend! If you were a bad friend, you wouldn’t have been invited to so many weddings, bachelorette parties and showers, now would you?
Here’s the thing no one likes to say out loud about wedding season: it can be hard to be focused on everyone else’s happiness all of the time while still trying to focus on yours!
Okay, once in awhile we might gripe about this to a friend, but only a friend so close that they would never, ever repeat those words to anyone else…
But you know what? It’s okay to have these conflicting emotions during wedding season!
Think about it, for most of our lives, summer has been a huge symbol of freedom.
Freedom from school, freedom from overly scheduled practices, freedom to focus on whatever your heart desires. As kids, our summers were all about getting as much time in the pool as possible and stuffing ourselves with ice cream for every meal. Sure, in high school and college, you probably worked a summer job, but your nights and weekends were all about spending max time with your friends or still going on sweet family vacations that were 100% paid for. Summer was carefree and all about doing what you wanted.
Flash forward to present day.
You’re in your 20s and all of a sudden this phenomenon happens: your friends start getting married. Maybe even you are getting married. It’s a totally new experience and super exciting in many ways.
You force friends to tell you their proposal story a million times. Okay, but what EXACTLY did he/she say?!
You grab your friends’ hands and drool over their new rings, mentally cataloging all of the ones you like so you can be prepared to drop major hints when the time comes.
You obsess over bachelorette plans and get sloppy drunk with your girlfriends. I mean, it is the perfect excuse…
And you try on 100+ dresses to find the PERFECT one for each wedding, all while thinking about how it will look as you’re rocking the dance floor on the big day.
All new experiences; all super fun!
And yet, with that comes a couple of very real realities:
- Your weekends become increasingly scheduled with wedding festivities, leaving less room to plan your own weekend fun.
- Your disrupted schedule or lack of control over your schedule can disrupt your normal routines and make you feel a bit out of whack.
Now, when we feel out of control over our own lives, we can often get a bit resentful of the thing we perceive as taking that control away from us.
It’s not that you necessarily resent your friends for getting married per se. It’s more that you might resent the ability to make your own decisions about your time and money.
These unsettling feelings can often surface before wedding season is in full swing. For example, maybe you're trying to plan your own summer vacation, but are feeling like weddings are taking up all of your summer weekends or your budget for vacation. Instead of feeling excited about all of the friend time and celebrating you'll be doing, you might feel upset over your perceived lack of control.
These feelings can show up during wedding-related festivities as well. For example, it might come up for you while you’re away for a bachelorette weekend sharing a house with 15+ girls. In that kind of scenario, it’s hard to have much privacy and might simply be overwhelming if you're not used to spending that much time with that many people. You don’t want to outwardly show your discomfort for fear of upsetting your friend. After all, it’s her weekend right? No one wants to be the person who makes the weekend about themselves instead of the bride, so you keep your mouth shut, try to go with the flow and leave your feelings unaddressed.
The good news is that you’re not the only person to have ever felt this way (I guarantee the bride has even felt this way too before). AND there are actually several things you can do to combat these feelings when they come up, and even help prevent them altogether.
The trick is doing some work before you dive headfirst into the season.
If you prep, you will be much more present for your friend AND for yourself. It’s kind of like that saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup”: you’ve got to take care of yourself so that your busy schedule doesn’t cause you to feel anxious or out of control and prevent you from having fun and fully supporting your friends.
That’s why I’ve created...
The 20-Something’s Guide to Surviving Wedding Season
Whether you have 1 wedding or 10 weddings this season, this guide will help you to stay on track with your goals, be true to YOU and kick any feelings of resentment to the curb!
In this guide, we’ll focus on strategies for the following:
- Regaining control of your calendar
- Budgeting so you don’t feel like your entire paycheck is gone
- Creating time for self-care during busy weekends
- Getting rid of those ugly comparison thoughts that might come up
Download the guide below and head into wedding season armed with strategies to stay calm, do YOU amidst tons of scheduled activities AND give your friends all of the love and support they deserve.
It’s printable too so you can bring your game plan with you! And of course, feel free to share the link with your girlfriends who could use some help surviving wedding season too!
Now go dance your booty off and have some FUN!
Be well,
Carolyn