Today I want to talk about something that I’ve noticed a lot of people struggling with lately: boundary setting at work.
With emails, texts, and tools like Slack, we’re in constant communication with our coworkers. This can be a huge benefit when you’re trying to meet deadlines or have a team working from various locations. In these moments, technology is amazing!
At the same time, it can be hard to disconnect after hours or even focus during the day with lots of different apps constantly pinging you. If we’re not careful, this constant connection can inadvertently lead to a culture of working too many hours, pressure to respond immediately to messages, and a feeling of overwhelm.
With constant connection getting normalized, it can also turn into a badge of honor or something to celebrate. For example, I recently saw a quote written by someone at my coworking space celebrating the fact that they had finally just taken PTO for the first time in years. Years?! When that’s the standard of being a good employee, we have a major problem.
Ask yourself: Do you feel like you’re constantly behind? Do you feel like it’s hard to focus on your own priorities because you’re always responding to everyone else’s? Do you find it hard to disconnect from work after leaving the office? Are you stressed about the idea of taking a vacation (or even a day off)?
If you answered yes to any of these, then it might be time to set some boundaries, my friend.
Before we dive too deep into the boundaries conversation, let’s get one thing straight: Setting boundaries does NOT make you a less focused or hard working employee. They don’t make you a bad person and they don’t mean you care any less about your work.
On the contrary, boundaries actually make you more efficient at your job because you’re taking care of yourself. Boundaries are a healthy way to stay focused on what you need to do and take ownership of your work-life narrative. They’ll help you show up more clear headed and present at the office - everything your company and colleagues need you to be.
Hopefully you already work in an office environment that makes it generally easy (and encourages) people to set boundaries, so what I'm about to propose won't feel like too much of a lift. If you don’t, it’s okay - you can still begin to set your own boundaries. Even if you work for Miranda Priestly, I promise there are ways you can take back ownership of you day/evening/priorities.
How do you do this? Here are a few tips that have worked for me:
1. Block off your calendar
Do you know that you could bang out email responses in a 2 hour chunk in the morning if you had the time? Do you know that early afternoon is the best time for you to do solo work because it’s when you’re most creative? Are you constantly responding to meeting requests rather than focusing on your own work?
Block off that time on your calendar so no one can book a call or meeting over it. It could be helpful to label it “email time” or “strategy work” so that someone looking at your calendar can know not to interrupt you.
This strategy will also help you stay accountable to yourself so that you do in fact carve out time for the important work you need to accomplish.
2. Snooze notifications
Apps like Slack are awesome because we can communicate with our colleagues instantly, even if working in different locations. But they can also be a serious distraction when you’re trying to get high priority work done. By snoozing notifications, you can take back control of your time. This goes along well with blocking out your calendar.
When the time comes for you to do the focused work you need, snooze your app notifications so that nothing will distract you from the work at hand.
Sometimes it can also be helpful to give your team a heads up that you’ll be snoozing notifications for a period of time so that if they absolutely need you for something urgent, then they’ll know to get ahold of you another way. You can even give them a default alternative like “If you need to reach me for something truly urgent, please text me.” This way your colleagues will know that they have another method for reaching you and you’ll know that if they do text you, then you need to pay attention.
Trust me, if there is a real emergency, someone will figure out a way to get ahold of you.
3. Take a lunch break
The number of clients I’ve had who didn’t take lunch breaks before working with me is mind blowing. When did we become a culture that doesn’t even allow us the time to nourish our bodies so we can do our jobs effectively? (Clearly I have strong feelings about this…)
If you’re reading this and saying, ”Omg I’m terrified to take a lunch break! How could you even suggest that?!”, I’m here to tell you that you can do it. It doesn’t have to be a whole hour, but you can take some time away from your desk at lunch. Even 10 minutes to walk around, stretch your legs, and eat something goes a long way. The world will not end if you’re away from your desk for 10-30 minutes. (Remember those apps like slack - again if there is an emergency someone will find you!)
By getting up from your desk, shifting your focus, and changing your scenery for a bit, you’re actually going to come back to your desk more rejuvenated than if you just sat there and continued working.
We’re not meant to stare at a computer screen for 8+ hours a day and there is research suggesting that the amount of sitting we do is hazardous to our health. So take a few minutes and move around. Better yet, do it a few times throughout the day. Take a 10 minute break in the morning, move around. Take some time at lunch, move around. Take 10 minutes in the afternoon, move around.
Get some fresh air. Let your body move, your mind wonder, and eat something nourishing. You’ll be so much more focused when you do.
4. No late night or weekend emails
Our phones make it easy to be constantly hooked into our work email, but leaving the office and taking work home with you day in and day out isn’t good for you. Sure, there are deadlines that need to be met and require longer hours from time to time, but 99.9% of the time it’s not life or death if you get to a certain email at 9am tomorrow morning instead of 11pm tonight.
Not only does consistently working late prevent you from fully disconnecting and relaxing, the blue light from computers and phones can negatively affect your sleep making it even harder for you to get the sleep you need in order to be your most productive self at work.
In order to take back ownership of your evenings, determine an email cutoff time for yourself. This cutoff time should be the latest possible time you’re allowed to look at your computer or phone before bed (I suggest no later than 8 or 9pm). In setting this boundary, you can wind down, detach from your screen, and set yourself up for more restful sleep.
Similarly, institute a no emails on the weekend policy. Your weekend is your time off. You should be enjoying your life and doing things that energize you rather than be constantly checking your inbox. If you need to check your email Sunday to make sure you’re set up for Monday, fine. But don’t let work consume your whole weekend. Go have fun! You’ll feel better and more ready to take on the week if you’ve given yourself time to disconnect.
If you’re in a leadership position, please please please model this behavior for your team.
How you walk your talk as a leader matters to the people who report to you. Therefore, don’t send emails on the weekend or late at tonight. If you need to send something while it’s top of mind but it can wait until the next day, consider using the “schedule send” feature on your email. Or start the email with something like “Sending now, but please don’t answer until you’re at work tomorrow”, so that if your team member does read it, they’ll know it’s not something they need to focus on right that minute.
It can also be a good idea to preemptively tell your team that you respect their off hours and remind them that if they ever get an email from you during that time, that you don’t expect them to respond until back at work. Like when snoozing notifications, it can also be beneficial to come up with a mutual plan of how you’d get ahold of each other if there were a true emergency.
5. Have a level set conversation with your boss or team
If you’re feeling like any of these things will be really hard to put into practice in your workplace, then you might need to have a level set conversation with your team or boss.
By explaining that you find it difficult to prioritize your own work or that you really need to move a little during the day in order to be more focused and engaged in your job, you’re advocating for yourself. Help your boss understand how you do your best work. Open and honest communication is almost always the best policy.
Chances are they don’t even realize the culture their enforcing. And if they push back really hard, that tells you something about the culture you’re working in. From there you can determine what changes need to be made or if it’s ultimately not the right fit for you.
I know the idea of setting boundaries at work can be uncomfortable if you’re not used to it, but the more you do it, the more natural it will feel and the more you’ll notice the benefits from it. Additionally, the more you model it, the more you’ll positively influence your colleagues to do the same - making it easier for everyone. It might feel weird in the short term, but people will respect you for it in the long term.
Have any other tips for setting boundaries at work that have worked for you? Share your success stories in the comments below!
Be well,
Carolyn